so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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