We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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