I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Congratulations! We have a period
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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