I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
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Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
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Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this