this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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