just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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