Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila? http://tfl.nu/4qsv
  Replies (1) Good night (829) Bad night (379) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to http://tfl.nu/z3ca
  Replies (14) Good night (3372) Bad night (612) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows. http://tfl.nu/ltb0
  Replies (17) Good night (3056) Bad night (581) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial. http://tfl.nu/180u
  Replies (25) Good night (527) Bad night (4470) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid". http://tfl.nu/zeei
  Replies (22) Good night (5988) Bad night (726) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome! http://tfl.nu/2tqo
  Replies (79) Good night (17771) Bad night (786)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling... http://tfl.nu/p0v8
  Replies (15) Good night (5727) Bad night (864) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting. http://tfl.nu/k93x
  Replies (44) Good night (3782) Bad night (4262) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  he seriously made his penis a facebook.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): he seriously made his penis a facebook. http://tfl.nu/bto1
  Replies (15) Good night (4237) Bad night (1709) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife. http://tfl.nu/98pl
  Replies (11) Good night (1062) Bad night (2400) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again http://tfl.nu/wayk
  Replies (1) Good night (784) Bad night (358) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool. http://tfl.nu/j2os
  Replies (7) Good night (300) Bad night (1042) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation http://tfl.nu/uy0z
  Replies (5) Good night (1215) Bad night (388) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence http://tfl.nu/n478
  Replies (2) Good night (1194) Bad night (452) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories... http://tfl.nu/532k
  Replies (1) Good night (558) Bad night (191) Order T-Shirt

Randomize