I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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