the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
