The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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