Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  My astrological sign? Vagitarius.

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  (440): My astrological sign? Vagitarius. http://tfl.nu/0z0j
  Replies (20) Good night (3594) Bad night (711)
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  (415): View more from California

  JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP

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  (415): JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP http://tfl.nu/adca
  Replies (19) Good night (3985) Bad night (601)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.

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  (803): I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for. http://tfl.nu/ljvy
  Replies (9) Good night (3714) Bad night (1140)
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  (858): View more from California

  Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.

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  (858): Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show. http://tfl.nu/suqh
  Replies (31) Good night (1397) Bad night (4624)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.

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  (781): tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner. http://tfl.nu/1bdt
  Replies (20) Good night (792) Bad night (6434)
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  (716): View more from New York

  He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.

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  (716): He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER. http://tfl.nu/jf69
  Replies (22) Good night (1033) Bad night (6992)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.

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  (815): No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official. http://tfl.nu/00ts
  Replies (14) Good night (1209) Bad night (4856)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.

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  (412): This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun. http://tfl.nu/9a4x
  Replies (10) Good night (1436) Bad night (3658)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover

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  (203): im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover http://tfl.nu/eh7g
  Replies (1) Good night (1562) Bad night (654)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus

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  (215): I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus http://tfl.nu/7gt9
  Replies (5) Good night (1311) Bad night (547)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.

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  (314): For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo. http://tfl.nu/n4q2
  Replies (4) Good night (946) Bad night (301)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.

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  (773): blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck. http://tfl.nu/370v
  Replies (5) Good night (712) Bad night (357)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.

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  (843): Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship. http://tfl.nu/rl7t
  Replies (1) Good night (439) Bad night (281)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?

  (305): View more from Florida

  It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.

  (954): View more from Florida

  STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn

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  (954): Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich? (305): It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too. (954): STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn http://tfl.nu/d113
  Replies (1) Good night (1089) Bad night (327)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty

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  (802): I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty http://tfl.nu/5ayd
  Replies (3) Good night (658) Bad night (238)

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