her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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