you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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