i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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