I'm pants shitting drunk right now
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
