i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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