I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
