I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
