I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Randomize
