I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
