Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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