Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
