Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
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The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
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Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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