Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
All I want is dick and wine.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
