I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
