We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
