So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
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i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
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my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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