you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
