dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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