Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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