Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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