How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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