So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
