Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
