I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize