did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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