My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Terrible idea I love it
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
