As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
This can only be settled by a dance off.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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