I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
