I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
