Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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