When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
