I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
