this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
