I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
she peed on how many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
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