He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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