nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
This girl is more easily done than said...
you win again, gameday.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
