we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
