hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
