He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
