i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
