i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
