I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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