people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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