party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
