I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
