...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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