I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
