You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
