Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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