Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
