i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I could have mohawked her pubes.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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