i just had sex bonerless
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
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