ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
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The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
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I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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