Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
