Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
birth control should be required to get into college
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
