I'm drive I can fine osifer
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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