We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
