I CAN MOONWALK!
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
