I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
